Celine Dion’s topless shoot for V magazine is plenty disturbing, but not for the reasons you think. Three words: Beanie Baby chaps. That is all. (Huffington Post)

A heavy metal amount of awesomeness, because it’s Friday and I love you. (Caveman Circus)

Evan Rachel Wood says Miley Cyrus is a lesbian. I say Evan Rachel Woods and Miley Cyrus are both irrelevant. Rebuttal? (Evil Beet)

Well, down in Whoville they say, that Hilary Duff’s ass grew three sizes since May. (popoholic)

Hilary Duff’s ass may be huge, but her baby is ridiculously cute. (Hollywood PQ)

Jennifer Lopez has developed a new comedy-drama television series featuring two lesbian moms raising a brood of multi-ethnic foster and biological kids. SNL is gonna have a fucking field day with this. (Bitten & Bound)

Jodie Marsh already looked like The Hulk, but now she’s actually green. Bravo! (Hollywood Rag)

The greatest cinematic spanking scenes of all time. Keira Knightley will paddle her way right into your heart. (Mr. Skin)

Nicki Minaj’s new single “I Am Your Leader” is truly a song only a eunuch could love. Or maybe a deaf person. (Gawker)

According to Arizona law, pregnancy begins two weeks before conception. Try explaining that one to your underage daughters. (The Frisky)

Kate Holmes will receive 4.8 million from ex-husband Tom Cruise in the divorce settlement. The only catch is that it will be spread out over the next ten years. (Celebitchy)

Candice Swanepoel’s Agua de Coco campaign makes me want to start cutting again. (Moe Jackson)

Because there’s an art to photobombing a wedding picture, I give you this handy user’s guide. (The Chive)

Yeeeah!